I promise, It's not a competition...

This was an interesting weekend.

I mean this is an issues that has been going on for years. As I sit back and analyze my family, it's apparent to me that we have what I call, insider competition.

I’m so sure many families suffer from the same insecurity issues as most. For example, we all have children around the same age who are off to college or are heading there. Why is it a game of one up? Why must it be a competition on whose school is better, or who hits high honors, or who is more popular, or who received the most rewards and scholarships? Why isn't it enough to be damn happy and excited that their black asses got into college and aren't pregnant dropouts!!

I’m so sick and tired of the inside competition. I am so happy and proud of my daughter and my niece! They both excelled above and beyond most in high school and are both doing well in college. Why can't we be honest with each other about or wins and fails. I mean I know you can't always be winning right?

Why hide the bad and only show the good? My daughter struggled her first year in the college dorm. She was away from home and she isn't the type of kid who parties, has sex, or does drugs and alcohol. Thank the Universe. But she struggled, and had a real hard time. She ended up on academic probation and lost her financial aid and housing. Was I heated and angry;spitting nails? Hell yes! But guess what, she still pushed through.

She was able to start over and earn her way back into good standings. She changed her major to something she had real interest and talent in and is now killin it! If I hadn't shared this news with a co-worker, I wouldn't know what steps needed to be made in order to get my daughter back on track.

The sad thing is that because of the competition within our family we didn't share our struggles just to later find out that another kid in our family was struggling also. I could have been helpful to them and offered information on how to go about a SAP appeal and so on. But, because people are so pressed on looking better, they lost out.

So my question is, why the hell are we so pressed on carrying the facade of being perfect? I mean clearly we are all living the same life and struggling with the same issues. Why is it so hard to connect and help one another without the fear of judgement within your own family?

It's a joke and damn pathetic.

Another incident didn't involve me, but it involved cousins. How petty are we that we don't speak to each other because one is going out of state for college and one isn't? Or one is pledging a sorority and one isn't? Again, you dumb fucks, be happy that their asses are in college. It's so laughable to me and might I add this fuckery is perpetuated by the grown ass 50+ year olds in the family. SMH..

So what am I gonna do to change my behavior? A good thing about me is that, look I understand that we are human and humans make mistakes. There is a lesson in every misfortune. I am not ashamed of myself, my kids, my man, or the life I chose to live. I can tell you flat out about the major fails and wins in my life with no hesitation. Heck I would rather tell you about my fails, in hopes that it may help you.

My goal is to tell you, guess what B you're not alone in this rat race. And Maybe I can shed some insight on what didn't and what did work for me.

Let's stop putting our kids against one another, let's work harder at communing and uniting not conquering and dividing families and friends. It's hard enough out in these streets.

We have enough enemies on the outside to fight.