Its been a long time...

July 26, 2017

 

Hi people my people,  It’s been like forever since I've talked to you.  So much has been happening at such a rapid rate that at times it feels like I don’t even have the time to wipe my A**  correctly.  Any how, I decided to come on and fill you in.

 

The biggest news is that my middle child Kayla “17” graduated from High school number 6 in her class! She did the damn thing!!! Kayla worked so hard and took great care in setting up her future.  She took college classes and excelled. Never mind the fact that  all of her classes were advanced and challenging.  The little girl does not play when it comes to her studies.  Her class was super competitive and thrived on pushing and pulling each other to the top.. I wish grown folks would take note.  It’s not about  competing with each other the competition should lie within yourself.  

 

  you are only as strong as your weakest link.

 

Kayla will be attending Drexel University in Philly for college.  Proud mom.

The interesting thing about this time around with this child is the fact that Kayla is very independent and a lot of times I felt out of the loop.  She handled all of her college research, applications and college tours on her own.  I remember asking her what her top choices were and she had a list.  I kinda felt like a shit head because I felt like I didn’t know my child very well.  She managed setting up all of her SAT dates, recommendation letters and transcripts all while working every weekend at bruegger's bagels taking college courses and maintaining a 4.3 GPA.

 

 My child is a BEAST!!

 

My first child Mia was a whole different thing. While Mia thrived in her studies she required or so I thought she did a lot of support from mom.  I knew every thing. I was so far up the administrators A** that they couldn’t breath, nor could I.  The interesting thing is that looking back on it I wonder if that was the right thing to do.  I never allowed her to problem solve.  I always found myself marching into guidance with my accordion folder full of documents with a plan for my daughter.  I was so stressed out about making sure she was set up with no issues.  

 

What a major FAIL, I inadvertently handicapped my daughter. I allowed her to rely to heavily on me, which we soon found out was maybe not the best for her.

 

 College life is a whole other monster.  Once we unpacked her, set

up her dorm and kissed her goodbye she was all on her own. I was left with no clue about what was happening.  Her grades? Her social life? Her love life? Her health life? Her sleeping pattern?  Literally nada.  The only freakin thing they allowed me to know was when that bill was due!!  Luckily I have a very open relationship, but somethings went unnoticed.

 

Her first semester was a struggle we would go and get her every weekend because she hated the dorm and all those funky ass little girls and boys with too much freedom, if you know what I mean.

 

I remember looking at her and seeing how unhealthy and stressed out she looked.  Her hair was falling out her skin was breaking out she was moody AF and just not inspired.  Something like the lights went out.  While talking with her I soon would see and understand that she was having severe anxiety attacks, not eating because of the trash food the university provided,it didn't help that she is a vegetarian, Which meant ZERO options.

 

I think we all know what came next..

 

Her grades lacked and she became even more stressed.  Mia lacked the ability to advocate for herself.  She didn't know how to fight for herself or speak up.  She didn’t know how to ask for help.  I can say that a lot of this came from me the  helicopter mom always jumping in and saving the day. I always fought her battles. I never allowed her or taught her how to advocate for herself. #BAD

 

The good news is that She stuck it out until the second semester of her sophomore year in the dorm and then we decided she should leave the dorm and commute.  For some people the dorm is just not for them and it’s ok.

 

Of course you have the jerk offs of the family who will comment and judge you but F them.  They are always the ones who never experienced half of what they talk shit about.  Because of them Mia felt depressed and disappointed in herself. why kick her when she is already down.  She was embarrassed and often didn't want to attend family functions because of the scrutiny of others.  Damn they act like she dropped out got pregnant and is a hooker on the weekend.  #SMH  

 

People are hilarious..  

 

 

So yeah I have been busy being mom.  trying to figure this whole parenting situation out.  Trying not to mess my kids up.  I just want the very best for them.  I want them to have all of the  opportunities and support that I didn't.

 

So far I have to say that two in college back to back is a damn good start.  considering our odds.

 

I shall give myself a hand clap or two..

 

 

 

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