Turning 40 has really had a profound effect on my mental. It was as if I woke up on my 40th birthday with a attitude of IDGAF. I felt like it was time for a MAJOR change. I was tired of living for people who didn’t do their part in exchange.
I figured that 2 out of my 3 children were in college and the youngest would be entering the 9th grade.
What a perfect time to BOUNCE!
I have always wanted to travel and see the world but the early choices in my life delayed that opportunity. And let's be honest, I also had a significant amount of fear for the unknown and failure.
At this particular time in my life I say fuck fear fuck failure! I gotta go, it’s time to live for me!
Now when I say this people freak out and think this means that I selfishly dump my kids and everyone a side. Well no, anyone with sense should understand this to not mean that.
The way I see it is, that in life we all must do the things that make us happy. We all know that when your happy everyone in your circle is happy.
No one wants to be around a party pooper. Let the record show that I certainly am no debbie downer.
I often find myself antsy, impatient, and just plain over it!! Frustrated at work, home, in the car, everywhere you name it. Just totally over it! This whole scene is tired. It's totally stunting my grow, flow, and glow.
My plan is to move to sunny California, a place I absolutely love! The weather, people, culture and vibe just really does it for me. Anyone who really knows Nicole knows my love for the ocean , beaches, and warm weather. I love outdoor activities and chill vibes. Of course we have the cock blockers, haters, and naysayers. They always have a worthless opinion on what you should and shouldn't do. I laugh at them. I just shake my head and respond “OH OK”... Like they are living the life of their own dreams trying to tell me how to get mine.. BYE FELICIA!!
I have lived in uptight, pretentious Connecticut for way too long and it’s cramping my style. My vibe is way to chill and I am way past over it!!
Without doubt I have anxiety of the unknown and the fact that I will have to start over in a new work institution gives me nausea and IBS. I have been at my beloved workplace for over 17 years. They have been very good to me but I have hit the ceiling and I gotta go!! New places fresh faces! I understand that I am no spring chicken, but I also know when I have worn out my welcome..
After my divorce in 2012 I vowed to myself that I would never remain in an unhappy situation. If I am in a situation in life that leaves my unhappy, unfulfilled, or unsettled I have the power to change it. Whether this means clearing my closet of clothes that don't make me feel and look my best, to letting go of toxic relationships with friends and family, to leaving a job that is no longer satisfying or rewarding.
If it doesn’t add value or greatness, it’s gotta go!!
Luckily for me I chose a career that will allow me the opportunity to travel and look at different types of medical institutions even though my first love is for the level 1 trauma centers but hell that’s really all I know.
Maybe, I will find some level 3, cancer center or children’s hospital that I love. I’m just grateful for the opportunity.
The greatest thing in this life is that we all have the ability to change our direction and path at any given moment. And it's far time for me to make my change!!
DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND WHAT BRINGS HAPPINESS TO YOUR LIFE.